To children, the meaning of life is not some soul-shattering enigma more mysterious than the universe itself. Instead, children find meaning in simply enjoying life and all that it has to offer–from riding bikes with best friends to finding fascinating creatures under rocks to learning that you are going to the amusement park with your favorite cousins. To a child, there is no great truth to life. Life just is. Life is the ice cream man on a hot summer day. Life is watching the clock while a history teacher talks about something boring that happened hundreds of years ago. Life is unwrapping a video game you’ve always wanted on Christmas morning. Life is taking delight in whatever happens next.
Losing Childhood’s Meaning
Adolescence and adulthood bring the first of many existential crises, those seemingly eternal moments when you wonder why. The words “responsibility,” “obligation” and “expectation” stop you from enjoying the feeling of freedom you once innocently embraced as a child. You no longer feel like you’re “done” with things. Instead, you now have a never-ending list of responsibilities–work, family, paying bills on time, caring for children, caring for aging parents, helping friends and family cope with unexpected problems.
What Happened?
The dissatisfaction, boredom, depression and anxiety many of us feel as adults are all symptoms of realizing life no longer is. We may say we are having an “existential crisis,” a philosophical term used to describe intense feelings of anxiety, dread and meaninglessness attributed to philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre. Arising from the idea that we have been “abandoned” in this world and have no way of knowing whether our decisions are “good” or “bad,” existential crises may also be thought of as thinking we live in a passive, meaningless world. But is that really the case?
Learning to Love Life All Over Again
Translated from Latin, amor fati means to “love your fate,” a phrase written about extensively by philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche. Nietzsche repeatedly stressed in his writings that amor fati does not mean taking a passive approach to life. On the contrary, loving your fate means actively participating in life, much like you did as a child. It means recognizing that life, in all its suffering and tragedy, is like a gift presented to us that we have no choice but to open, accept and use to the best of our abilities. The energy we waste trying to re-wrap and return this gift of life represents the opposite of loving your fate. It is the very definition of meaninglessness that prevents us from finding purpose, peace and acceptance of ourselves as who we are becoming in this world.
Accepting Life into Your Life
Do you accept your emotions? Or do you consider them shameful, painful or wrong? Wounds like this typically come from issues in your past and is often difficult to overcome without professional help. But if you focus on being accepting of how you feel and on understanding that emotions are only that — there’s never a need to act upon them — you’ll have a firm foundation on which to begin building acceptance of who you are.
Living in a world that becomes smaller and narrower as you get older can make it more difficult to find purpose. Don’t let fear, apathy or an unwillingness to step outside your comfort zone prevent you from embracing everything that life has to offer. Travel, learn, investigate, celebrate and show compassion to others, even when it’s difficult to do. Reach out to others. Empathizing, helping people, volunteering — these are also tasks that may help you find meaning and affirmation in your adult life.
A Final Thought
Nietzsche once said: “How could I wish that my life had been anything other than what it was, for I would not be who I am.” Although the purpose of life may be more difficult to find as an adult, know that it still exists, just as vivid and joyful as your memories of childhood. Don’t be afraid to pursue it.
