Infidelity is not a new concept. As unthinkable as the notion of breaking such bonds may be, infidelity is common. Some of the earliest references of human infidelity are found in the Bible (Abraham and Jacob, in particular). According to Hebrews 13:4-7, “Marriage should be honored by all…the marriage bed kept pure, for God will punish the adulterer.” By the 1950s, the infamous Kinsey Report discovered that possible punishment from God did not deter about half of all men and a quarter of all women involved in the study from committing adultery.
Are humans incapable of monogamy? Why are some people “serial” cheaters and others staunchly faithful? Some anthropologists insist that humans, like most other animals, are not naturally monogamous. If that is the case, should we forgive our significant other’s infidelity and chalk it up to human nature and evolutionary psychology explanations of why men and women cheat?
Beyoncé’s Lemonade–Examining the Pain of Infidelity
“You can taste the dishonesty–it’s all over your breath.” (from the song “Pray You Catch Me”).
“What’s worse? Looking jealous or crazy”? (from the song “Hold Up”).
“Stars in her eyes…she fights for the power, keeping time” (from the song “6 Inch”).
“We built sandcastles that washed away/I made you cry when I walked away/And although I promised that I couldn’t stay, baby/Every promise don’t work out that way” (from the song “Sandcastles”).
Beyoncé’s Lemonade is a tour de force of talent, passion and pain delving as deeply as humanly possible into the harrowing pain caused by infidelity. Describing the nightmarish rollercoaster ride of emotions she suffered following Jay Z’s infidelity, Beyoncé also raises questions no one dares to ask: Should you stay? Can trust be rebuilt? Can you and should you forgive and move on? Am I good enough to prevent my partner from cheating again if I stay with them?
Lemonade resonates with anyone who has been cheated on by someone they trusted–and also offers valuable insight into how one women made the decision to not take responsibility for their partner’s faults by refusing to slide too easily into the role of victim.
Sorting Out Powerful Feelings
It is almost instinctual for cheated-on individuals to plunge into a whirlpool of contradictory emotions ranging from anger, self-blame and denial to introspective, intellectualization about the relationship in an attempt to suppress terrifying feelings of abandonment and loss.
It is important to allow these feelings to surface so that they can be acknowledged, contemplated and interpreted slowly and rationally. While ideas of right and wrong are never clear-cut in intimate relationships, each person needs to be allowed to decide what is right for them and not simply rely on conventional ideas to make decisions affecting their own life.
Doing what feels right supersedes doing what is viewed as “right.” In Beyoncé’s Lemonade, we hear her emotions musically and poetically; we follow her train of thought as she makes the decision to stay with someone who betrayed her trust. We understand how strongly she feels about her decision and realize with a sense of admiration that she does not consider herself a victim but a passionate, fearless endorser of life.
