It’s early Sunday morning. While lying in bed staring at the ceiling, I start to reflect on my life. As I looked over my life, something occurred to me. I don’t give myself a pat on the back nor enough credit for who I am. I always seem to give thanks for the rewarding experiences of my life. But, I forget that there is something much deeper that I need to give thanks to — life’s struggles.
I am the person I am today, not because my childhood was perfect or my living environment was ideal, but because that was NOT true. I am the person who I am today, not because I always made the right decisions, but because I made mistakes.
Life has not always been good to me and that is something I have learned to appreciate.
For me, and for everyone, life has been a complex mix of experiences. Some days have been like a walk in the park, while most days have felt like I was stopped in traffic waiting for the red light to change. Each moment to moment has defined my path and who I am as a person.
I am sure you have had those elusive questions pop in your mind: why is life so hard or why is this happening to me, consider this: Our struggles, and the way we deal with them, are among the many gifts that shape our lives and who we become. If we can find it in our hearts to replace the resentment, frustration and anger with appreciation for life’s struggles, we could heal emotional scars and accept that these struggles make us unique in our own individual capacity.
As I look through my life experiences, I recall a major life experience of losing my job and a long term relationship, both at the same time. It was a difficult time for me, both physically and emotionally. I felt scared for my future and worried. It was a struggle to get back on my feet, but surviving that situation was the proof I needed to know that I do have the courage, strength and resilience to keep moving forward.
I am indeed a compassionate woman whose heart overflows with love and concern for all people. But I recognize that this hasn’t always been true. I learned the hard way of what its like to be discriminated against and treated like you’re different. It lead to one of many lessons that I had to overcome — that is being a warrior for your personal integrity. Because of this issue, I learned that everyone deserves compassion.
All in all, I have learned to love me through painful self-reflection of how I used to talk negatively to myself and engage in self-defeating behavior. My biggest struggle was myself. And it was this struggle that gave me the push to deal with my issues, separate how I see myself from what others see and reclaim my wonderful, personal gifts of self.
I would not trade the gifts of strength, compassion, self-esteem and courage for living life in a vacuum. So, as I embrace these characteristics as part of me, I recognize the benefit in these struggles that brought me to this point. Life’s struggles need not be something that you avoid. They have value. That value creates the whole of you. So I ask you: who are you as a result of your life’s struggles.
